We've all been there before: You just want to level, and level efficiently, but the party your in contains some lovey-dovey, smoochy, distracted couple. Usually this couple started the party "because they want to play together, giggle". These couples generally find themselves distracted with just how fucking much in-love with eachother they are, and this typically means the parties go sluggishly and never get anywhere. Even if the parties do manage to pull-together and you're scoring some good to decent EXP from them, you still have to put up with the irritating couple proclaiming to the virtual world just how much they love eachother via emotes....

Dorkmanburger kisses Jennymcasscrack.

Jennymcasscrack gives Dorkmanburger a great big smooch on the cheek.

Dorkmanburger huggles Jennymcasscrack.

Gag me with a fucking spoon. Huggles? Who the fuck says 'huggles'?

Well, last night, I found something worse than partying with a love-dovey couple.

Q: What's worse than being in a party with a "couple"?

A: Partying with a "couple" that is in the middle of a major domestic disturbance.

I was in a shadowburn party last night (BRD, WHM, 3xNINs and a SAM/THF). I was called in as a replacement for a WAR/NIN. We're fighting crawlers on Mount Zazozazolam (whatever). I get out there, and we're chaining really well and getting mad-high EXP.

After about an hour or so, we start to notice that one of the NINs is off standing in a corner, weapon drawn, but not fighting. We also notice that the WHM hasn't been casting any hastes on anyone, and has only been curing when people get into the red. It took us a while to notice this because as 2xNINs with a SAM/THF to bounce hate around, we weren't getting hurt that often, and with 2xNINs not having haste wasn't as big of an issue. Even still, EXP has slowed down since the 3rd NIN stopped fighting, and the BRD is having and increasingly difficult time keeping us alive on his own.

So, we start to "<call>" to try and get them to snap out of it. Turns out, the 3rd NIN and the WHM were a husband and wife couple who were playing in the same room.

The following explodes into party chat:

NIN: I'm sorry, I'm just having an argument with my fucking wife.
WHM: {silence, but she's not curing ANYONE any more}

...time passes...

NIN: Stupid bitch, she's just yelling at me now. Wish they had a fucking mute button.
WHM: {now gets back in the game} Well maybe if YOU didn't come home an hour late and drunk SHE wouldn't have to yell!
NIN: Oh, that's right, I'm the one who can't be trusted.
WHM: That's right.
NIN: It's not like you ever came home late, drunk, and without your panties, whore.
WHM: OH FCUK YOU! {yes, this is how she spelled it}

...WHM seems to leave, no more cures, no more haste, full MP all the time...

NIN: Go on guys, we don't need her.

...party continues for a bit... 3rd NIN plays sporatically. Bear in mind, during all of this fight, we've still been chaining. After a bit, the 3rd NIN is once again standing with his weapon drawn, not fighting... Eventually he says...

NIN: I'm sorry guys, I've gotta go.
NIN: Stupid fucking bitch is throwing things.
NIN: I need to go put her ass down.
WHM: SHUHushiuhsauih*7y87ytSGhghghgjg66YY&*.... {jibberish, and then the WHM disconnects}
NIN: hsdyugy768dt^T&^bdjhbsahj5456.... {jibberish, and then the NIN's character charges off in a random direction, aggroes 3 crawlers, a slime, and a ghost, and promptly dies}

The 3rd NIN lies there dead for a while, no response, while we're still chaining. The BRD tries to go over to raise him but he died in a very bad spot, and the BRD can't get to him without aggroing the ghost and the slime.

Eventually the decision is made just to boot him. We found a replacement WHM and a RNG to replace the 3rd NIN (we became more of a TP-burn, and we still had mad-high chains). At the end of the night, the party ended just as the NIN's timer ran out, and he automatically HP'd. When we got back to Al Zahbi, we found him standing there, unresponsive still, by the HP crystal.